Where We've Been

Have you been wondering "WTF is up with Jacksonville Confidential"? Probably not, but if you have; we're still here. The past two months have been all about change. We've been upgrading our systems and have been involved in a major renovation of our office. We'll be back real soon, bigger and better than ever. Stay tuned.

For now, please enjoy some of our classic posts, starting with one of our most favorites ever!...

This crack ho knows how to bump that sh*t, pun intended. Just wait til the end...

Accidental Dongs Galore!

Engrish Lessons

Separated at Birth

Pics of the new office and plenty of posts coming soon...

Rocky Horror Picture Show at the 5 Points Theatre

Let’s do the time warp again and again…The 5 Points Theatre will be showing the Rocky Horror Picture Show this Friday and Saturday nights, August 5th and 6th, at Midnight (11:55PM to be exact). If you want to participate you should go ahead and get your tickets now by Clicking Here. Be forewarned, this event always sells out, don’t be left out on the curb in 5 Points. Attendees are encouraged to bring the usual props, please no liquids. (per Jack at the theater). It’s sure to be a great time.

Terrible Renters in Jax

We know many of our readers are landlords throughout town and we've heard plenty of horror stories over the years about dirty, disgusting, and destructive tenants who have no regard for your valuable property. The havoc they cause during their occupancy and the ensuing aftermath has been enough for some people we know to sell their properties and give up on the whole thing. Thanks to the new website Terrible Renters in Jax rental property owners now have a mouthpiece to post and expose those deadbeat squatters.

Terrible Renters in Jax posts the names of offending occupiers as well as stories about the owners horrific experiences, COMPLETE WITH PICTURES!!! It never ceases to amaze us how truly disgusting and gross people can be. If you read this and happen to know any of the dwellers, drop an email to the site and maybe some good can come out of the bad.

Engrish

HEY LAZY POEPLE!! PICK UP YOUR TRASH CANS
OR JUST MOVE TO DUMP SO YOU DONT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING

Sign spotted at the corner on Goodwin Street in between Myra and Dellwood in Riverside by Mark, filed under Engrish.

Mini Gay Boyfriend

"What you've always wanted - a gay boyfriend that fits in your pocket.
The perfect iPhone app if you're gay, straight, bi or just mini-curious."

Choose your man from 18 mini gays and start flirting your way into his heart. Make sure to keep your winks cheeky, your hugs hot and your kisses well timed! Start dating and you can take your mini gay for coffee, to the cinema or out for dinner. But be careful not to spill the milk or drop the popcorn - he won't like it if you can't handle a hotdog. And if you think romance is dead, you haven't tried breakfast in bed. Or keep it burning with well packed picnics and candlelit bubble baths. You can even make the ultimate commitment and buy a pet. But don’t forget to feed it – nothing says it's over more than a dead pug. Your mini gay boyfriend will make you wonder why you ever bothered with real life relationships. And don’t worry, he won’t mind if you have a real life partner. We just can’t promise the reverse will be true. Happy romancing x x x.

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE APP

Global Smurfs Day

In anticipation of its new movie The Smurfs (Release date, June 29th), Sony Pictures has dubbed today, June 25th, as Global Smurfs Day in an attempt to get its name in the Guinness Book of World Records. Don't freak out if you happen upon a few of the blue creatures today. If you see one tomorrow, BEWARE!

This Just In...

There's a brand new flyer floating around town from our good friend Johnny over at European Street. Thanks Sacha!!!

Accidental Dong

We've got the super supreme amazingly power packed Accidental Dong roundup this week, so let's go ahead and start...

1. Accidental Vegetation Dong
   

2. Accidental Whale Dong at Joe's Crab Shack.
   

3. Accidental Dental Dong.
   

4. Accidental Balloon Animal Dong
   

5. Accidental Bubble Dong.
   

6. Accidental Chimney Dong at Epcot.
   

Many thanks to Anna, Jason, Mark, Nancy, Cara, and Angela for the pics.

AHA PSA - Stayin Alive

This PSA from the American Heart Association might be the best EVER! It features Ken Jeongh, who is not only an actor but a REAL Dr. by the way, and some awesome disco music from the Bee-Gees. Dance Partay!

Remember, Call 911 and PUSH HARD AND FAST!

Happy Hot Dog Man

You have got to be freakin' kidding. If you have to buy this Happy Hot Dog Man thingamajig to make your kids eat a hot dog, something is VERY wrong. First of all, who doesn't love a hot dog? Secondly, you could totally create the "Hot Dog Man" with 4 easy swipes of a regular ol' knife. Lastly, we wish we would've come up with this...easy money baby.

We WOULD like to see this chick catch a Happy Hot Dog Man in her mouth...doesn't it make you want one real bad?

Friendship Fountain Re-Opens

This Saturday, June 18th, at 9am the newly refurbished Friendship Fountain on the South bank Riverwalk re-opens. According to this story from News4Jax...

"The fountain now shoots 110 feet into the air. It's the first part of major redevelopment on the Southbank."

It's a gusher!! There's also a "patriotic light show" to feature the fountain.

We remember many a sunny day sitting on the steps of the park and watching the fountain for, what seemed like, hours. It's great to have you back Friendship Fountain.

Ferris Bueller's Last Day Off

Ferris and Cameron are back in "Ferris Bueller's Last Day Off". This time it's many years later and Ferris decides to play hooky from work. There's a little cameo from Gilbert Gottfried too...

Wave at the Bus

School's out for summer and that means at least one lucky kid won't have to endure his morning send off to class by his costumed father and blogger of Wave at the Bus, which chronicles the daily embarrassment. Outfits include a Pirate, a Blushing Bride, Batgirl, the list goes on...

Hahn Super Badass

Hahn Super Dry from Australia has got to be the most awesome brew on earth, just check out this bad ass commercial...

Who sells this in Jacksonville?

Separated at Birth

It has been eons since we've posted a Separated at Birth and we are happy to present this most recent submission to you from our good friend and faithful Jacksonville Confidential reader Kay. She's vacationing at Disney in Orlando this weekend and spotted Bram Stoker's Dracula at Denny's this morning. This just proves that everyone loves Disney World!

Drunkest Man Ever Contest

Way back in October of '09 we showed you guys this video of "The Drunkest Man Ever"...

Now it looks like we have a new contender for the coveted title. Check out Drunky McDrunkerson from across the pond in Great Britian. This footage was captured earlier this week via CCTV. From The Sun.

In Tropical, "The Greeks"

We probably shouldn't love this video so much, but we do. Check out "The Greeks", by In Tropical. Awesome!

Riva Side

We Love Riverside! Just take a look at all of the sights that were seen over this past holiday weekend. Like the tree at the corner of Stockton and Forbes Streets with a natural glory hole...

And this flier that was spotted posted on several different telephone polls and electrical boxes throughout 5-Points, Riverside, and Avondale featuring our very own Johnny Miller, it's true...

.

Any bets that Lambrofeetie is hiding inside the glory hole tree? Odds are pretty good.

Photos by Mark, Flyer by Sacha, Graffiti by Anonymous.

Ladies Night at Moon River Pizza

It's Wednesday and that means it's Ladies Night at Moon River Pizza in Murray Hill. 2-4-1 beer and wine from 4PM until close and the most delicious pizza pie's in Jacksonville. Be sure to check out the new Godzilla Pie with salsa verde, chicken, white cheddar, fresh garlic, and mushrooms. RAWR!!! For more information on specials and upcoming events "Like" Moon River Pizza on FaceBook or Subscribe to their Twitter feed.

Conversations with Bert

Andy Samberg joins Bert on his very first episode of Conversations with Bert from the good people over at Sesame Street. Awkward...